secondary FUN-ction
by Writerofthelostsoul
Summary: weapons have a primary function: defense/offense, but they also have another function, other than for being weapons. And Jaune finds himself on the receiving ends of them. What will happen? Rated M because there will be smut, enjoy, its going to get bizarre real fast. This is what happens when you trust me with a computer. Winter is coming.
1. Chapter 1

Secondary function

Hello, again. I know I have been silent for a long time without posting anything, but I have some good news: Black blood huntsman chapter 5 in 6000 words long but still not complete, I am aiming for typing 10,000 words. I'm halfway there already, I just need to finish it.

Now for my actual authors' notes

Hello people of I am writing my first official RWBY fanfiction, yay. Anyways the story came to me when I pondered on Yang's weapons ember cilica. But let me tell you, it took a while for me to fully cook this story up, but I did it. So hi I'm WOTLS and this is my first non crossover story, I have a poll up currently on my account. I have two other stories: Black blood huntsman, and cold servos.

New story and new idea, now then.

On with the show

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It was a regular day at the prestigious academy known as beacon. A place where teenagers train to be the protectors of the four kingdoms: Vale, Vacuo, Atlas, and mistral. There are academies within these kingdoms where the huntresses and huntsmen in training go to hone in their craft.

There is one boy who had gotten into the prestigious academy, Beacon, with having no real skill in fighting. This boy's name is Jaune arc. The brother of seven sisters and residential goof of Beacon. How he is still alive today is still a question that many of his peers ask themselves. He shouldn't be alive, he should have died multiple times, but somehow he survived it all without even a scratch.

Let's go to the arena inside the academy.

In the arena during combat class Jaune arc was getting his ass kicked by Yang Xiao Long, the exuberant blonde with the unholy power to make bad puns.

Jaune charged at Yang with his sword in both hands ready to slice that taunting smirk off her face, it was just so fucking annoying, it was annoying for two reasons: one he knew that Yang could have beaten him and won the match at any time. And two he had made the dumb mistake of betting a favor. The bet was simple: if he won, Yang would stop calling him 'vomit-boy' that insufferable nickname was the bane of his existence. However, if Yang won the fight, he would have to do her a favor.

That was the real kicker, he had to do her a favor, whatever it was, and that was why he was desperate to win the fight, because of the unknown factor. But knowing Yang, you just knew that it would lead to nothing good if you lost. No it wouldn't be anything good for you. And what was worse was that fate hated him. No Jaune isn't allowed to be a normal teenager, no, Jaune has to go through hell. No because apparently Monty Oum didn't want him to have fun in life, no he wanted him to get ravaged over and over again until his body is a pulp for beowolves to feed off of.

Jaune closed the distance between himself and Yang, going for a multitude of stabs at her head.

Yang redirected and slapped away Jaune's sword, getting him angrier, her plan was going all according to plan. She just needed to wait for the opening she needed, and Jaune didn't disappoint, so she took her chance.

Yang grabbed Jaunes' arm, with her left hand and gave one mighty tug, causing him to stumble forward allowing her to pull him into a punch aimed at his face, and it landed on Yang's preferred target; his face.

Jaune felt as if he had been hit by a truck, in the moment of that punch, time seemed to slow down to the speed of molasses, and he realized two things. One; he just lost the fight. Two; he just lost the bet, and now he had to do whatever Yang. Just great. 'just fucking fantabulous, nice going Jaune, you succeeded in getting yourself ensnared in Yang's fucked up clutches full of bad puns and narcissism.' He berated himself inwardly.

Jaune's aura meter dropped into the red, causing the arena to shut down and cancel the simulation.

"The winner of the fight is, Yang Xiao Long." Glynda said unknowingly sealing Jaune's fate.

Yang turned to where Jaune was when she knocked him down only to see him run faster that she thought he could, right out the door.

Fifteen minutes after the very one-sided fight.

After fifteen minutes of searching for Jaune, Yang had found him hiding under his bed, he looked like a scared little kid who just had seen something extremely fucked up.

'Ohhh the possibilities~' Yang thought as she forcefully dragged Jaune out from under his bed, getting screams of protest from her friend.

"Jaune, what was it you said about the arc family and keeping their promises." Yang said with a shit eating grin.

Jaune sighed. "An arc never…" he mumbled the least part.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, could you repeat that again please." Yang said with a mischievous grin that spoke of nothing but trouble.

"I said; An arc never goes back on their word!" Jaune shouted, earning a look of amusement from yang.

Now Jaune, I told you to never doubt the master of bet winning." Yang said barely containing her laughter.

"I didn't doubt the master of bet winning: I doubted you." Jaune said, causing Yang to break out into a fit of laughter. 'She really has that bad of a sense of humor?' Jaune sweat-dropped.

5 minutes of Yang uncontrollable laughing later.

Jaune couldn't understand how someone could laugh as long as Yang had been, it didn't make sense. But the real question was: when did comedy ever under any circumstances make sense.

Eventually Yang's laughter died down and she talked to Jaune for about thirty seconds.

"So, Jaune, the only thing that the 'favor entails, is you helping me test out ember cilica to make sure my new modification that I and Ruby made works." She stated. 'oh this almost too easy, you will soon be mine Jaune. Oh so very soon.'

Yang grabbed Jaune's arm and started to drag him across the hall to her team's dorm room and threw Jaune into it before she shut and locked the door. Sealing Jaune's fate behind doors.

"so Jaune…you're probably wondering 'Yang, why am I here, and what am I going to have to do?' I expect you to say that again." She said cheekily.

'You told me what you wanted me for already, when we were across the fucking hallway!' Jaune screamed internally. Jaune sighed and repeated the words "Yang, why am I here, and what am I going to have to do?" he said.

"I'm so glad you asked, Jaune. You are going to help me test out my new modification." Yang said readying ember cilica, she then proceeded to get ready by putting her hands in front of her as if to shove him away. "Jaune, punch both my hands as hard as you can with both of your hands, at the same time."

Jaune nodded before rushing forward and punching Yang's palms only to have Yang grab his fists and say two words "secondary function."

Then suddenly Jaune heard whirring of a small engine and mechanisms shifting, he looked at ember cilica and saw that it was the very weapon he was looking at that was making the noise it was transforming.

Ember cilica shifted its' plates and encased Jaune's hands in its' metal before leaving Yang's hands and leached onto Jaune's. and then a powerful magnetic burst forced jaunes hands connect at the wrist, like a pair of handcuffs.

"Okay Yang, is that all you wanted to test?" eager to get out of his handcuffs, feeling as if he were in danger.

"Nope!" Yang exclaimed pushing Jaune to the ground and pinning him to the ground. "You're going to be all mine now. You knew this was eventually going to happen." Yang said holding a struggling Jaune in place with her gloved hands.

She loved it when her pray struggled, it made the victory just that more exciting, and it was a major turn on for her.

"Relax, Jaune. It'll be over in about two hours." She said "Well maybe 2wo and a half, I don't know, until I'm satisfiyed." Yang said tearing Jaune's clothes off exposing his bare chest. "it'll be over ver soon." She said the last part seductively.

Meanwhile in Ozpin's office

Ozpin had been watching the whole event transpire between Jaune and Yang and by the end of it, he had filled his empty coffee mug with his blood via nosebleed.

Glynda walked into his office looking exhausted.

"Hello Glynda, to what do I owe the fine pleasure?" He said regaining his professional composure.

"What do you mean by 'to what do I owe the fine pleasure', Ozpin, we made plans for tonight." Glynda said. In return Ozpin did a great impression of a gold fish.

"Our date, you dork!" Glynda said somewhat annoyed that Ozpin had forgotten.

"ah yes, now I remember." He said walking off to his room forgetting to close out of his tabs of security cameras.

It was when Glynda heard moaning that she walked over to Ozpin's desk and found his tablet with interesting 'content'. She could totally black-mail him with this. She could get **anything** she wanted out of him.

"professor Ozpin, could you please come here for a minute, please." She stated more like a command than a question.

Ozpin walked into the room to see Glynda holding his tablet with a sinister grin on her face.

He gulped.

"so Ozpin, this is how it's going to work: after our date, you and I are going to come back her, so I can get some stress relief. Do you understand?" All Ozpin could do was just stare in utted shock, slack jawed at what was happening to him. He the headmaster of beacon, was getting black-mailed into sex. Although he couldn't complain.

"shall we." Glynda said holding out her arm, Ozpin chose to swallow his pride, and took Glyndas' arm, walking out the door Ozpin realized something.

'Shit, I need to turn off my tablet, oh wait, it turns off eventually, what am I worrying about.' He mentally sighed.

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Hello, I wrote this in one day, and I'll admit it was just an idea, and it didn't turn out how I wanted it to, but, eh. I've learned to accept disappointment, and take it with stride.

Announcement, 7000 words in black blood huntsman so far.

Hope you enjoyed, review, favorite etc.

I am Writerofthelostsoul, and I will see you all next time.

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Omake

"Achoo." Pyrrha sneezed. Looking up at the sky she said four words "There is a disturbance in the shipping force."

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See all you guys later until next time.

me continuting this story will be taken upon a voting system. type "Continue" if you want me to continue this. Type "STOP" if you want me to stop where i am.

by saturday I will tally up the votes and decide.


	2. Crescent blows

Crescent blow

Hello again, RWBY community I have a few things to say, first, characters that wear clothing like capes, cloaks and trench-coats. I don't know what it is about said clothing, but whenever I see them flying in the wind, like being blown, they seem just that much better.

And also there is a poll for new story ideas, go check it out. There is no set update, schedule, sorry to those of you who hoped for a schedule. Review, favorite, and follow. And I didn't expect to get the response that I did when I posted this, I expected it to get maybe 3 reviews, 1 or 2 follows, and maybe 4 favorites, nope I got the best thing ever, I got what I didn't expect, a lot.

My father always said "give it a try, and if you don't like it, stop doing it," but I like it. He also said "life will bitch slap you in the face, both literally, and symbolically." I have experienced these both on the same day.

BTW a position for beta reading is still open if anyone is interested, and it comes with its perks of author's notes, and credit. Also the other reason I would like a beta reader, is because I have a story Idea, but I need a second writer/ friend for the story to be written. So if any of you are interested just private message me.

Also I recommend listening to Red like roses (Toasterparty Remix) it is a great remix in my opinion. And I listened to it the majority of the time while writing this chapter, it has the two parts of a remix that I like: a chill beat that gradually increases, and it is upbeat.

Now then…

On with the show

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"Gah!" Jaune shot up from his bed to see that he was alright, 'was it all a dream, or did it happen, and why am I back in my bed? It was all a dream, holy shit, it felt so real.' He thought looking at his hands while clenching them into fists and then unclenching them, he repeated this action for at least a minute before he finally laid back down in his bed and his head met the pillow.

Unbeknownst to our residential blonde dunce, it all actually did happen and he was 'Raped' by Yang. It's not rape if you enjoy it. And he enjoyed it immensely, to the fullest. Even though he would never want to admit it.

10:00 A.M.

Jaune had finally woken up from his slumber, and found himself alone in the dorm, with a note taped to his shirt. Jaune grabbed the note and began reading it.

Dear, Jaune

Me, Nora and Pyrrha are going to vale to pick up some supplies and ammo for the week, if there is anything you need from either of us just give us a call. Also you talk in your sleep.

P.S. Team (R)WBY came along with us, so It's just you and Ruby at the school for now.

P.P.S. when you get the chance, take Zwei for a walk, please and thank you.

Love, team PRWBNY (Prue beanie)

Jaune looked at the bottom right hand corner of the note to see a little chibi Yang giving him the peace sign. Yang had some art skills, and he meant it in the best way.

Well, that explains a lot. "But Prue beanie? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He said aloud to himself, seriously what the hell is that supposed to mean, obviously it was one of Yang's bad puns, but still did she have to write it?

Jaune proceeded to go about his morning rituals, oral health, getting dressed, showering, and reading some fine literature, the best 'book' in Remnant: X-Ray and Vav.

Halfway through the book Jaune heard knocking on the dorm door. 'who could that be?' he thought before responding to the knocking.

"Come in." Jaune called out while closing his comic book.

Jaune looked over at the door to see his best friend, his best socially-awkward friend, the one and only, Ruby rose, A.K.A Crater face.

"Hey Jaune," Ruby said to her friend and fellow leader.

"Hello, crater face, how has your day been so far?" Jaune asked snickering.

"That was only one time, and it was an accident. Vomit boy." Ruby said now laughing.

"Hey, motion sickness is a lot more common problem that people lead you to know, besides, at least I'm not a gun psycho." Jaune shot back playfully.

"What! I don't know how to help people with their mental problems." Ruby said blushing.

"That's a psychiatrist." Jaune said.

"you mean like the movie?" Ruby asked tilting her head.

"That's psycho." Jaune deadpanned.

"Oh, okay. Well I was wondering if you wanted to hang out, doing recreational activities, or if you would let me modify your sword?" Ruby said giving a million-dollar smile that was shot down by Jaune.

"Ha ha, nice try, but you know how I feel about that Ruby; no sword modifying. My parents, and sisters would kill me, bury me and then dance on my grave. And I'm not too fond of that." Jaune said sarcastically, emphasizing the grave dancing and death with hand gestures.

"would they seriously do that?" Ruby asked.

'Bless her naïve soul.' "no they wouldn't, I was being sarcastic." Jaune said.

"Got it, so do you want to spar in the arena, it'll be just like old times." Ruby said holding out crescent rose in its compact form.

"sure why not, I need practice anyway." Jaune said while heading to the locker room to put on his set of armor.

Meanwhile in the headmaster's office

Ozpin was lying in bed with Glynda under the covers thinking about what had transpired last night and he still couldn't believe it, but unfortunately, Glynda had the gall to record their 'endeavors' and save it for later.

Ozpin felt the bed he was in move slightly, and looked to see Glynda starting to wake up.

"Good morning Ozpin." Glynda said while stretching her arms above her head.

"You're despicable, and sadistic." Ozpin shot Glynda an angry look.

"That's not what you said last night." Glynda said in a singsong voice, mocking Ozpin.

"Fuck you, Glynda." Ozpin said getting out of bed, starting to walk towards his bedroom door.

"Does that mean you're ready for round two? You know you wanted to for a long time." Glynda said with a cheeky smile

Ozpin walked away while flipping Glynda the bird, not really in the mood to deal with his friend. So he went for coffee, it always brought a smile to his face. But more importantly he could look at his scroll and see the progress with his shipping powers. Glynda doesn't understand what shipping was, it was a sad sight for the headmaster to see. But he had more important things to worry about, like seeing how the shipping progress of a certain oblivious blonde was going and to see who was in the lead.

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Meanwhile in the arena

Jaune was panting and was almost passing out, while Ruby stood ready for another attack with her scythe.

Jaune tried so hard with all of his might to stand, but fell face first and passed out.

Ruby folded her weapon and sighed. walking up to Jaune to poke him.

*poke* "Jaune"

He laid there on the floor.

*poke* "vomit-boy?"

Still nothing.

*Kick* "Jaune!"

Still nothing.

"Son of a bitch!" Ruby shouted in frustration. 'Dumb Jaune, stupid aura exhaustion. Stupid frustration!' Ruby thought as she slung Jaune's left arm over her shoulders and started to drag her friend to the dormitory so he could rest up.

! Necessary time skip!

Jaune woke up groggily from his sleep, stretching his aching limbs, causing a few joints to pop.

"Oh good you're awake." Jaune heard a voice say.

He shot up immediately looking around the room for the source of the noise, to see Ruby, sitting on the bed across from him. He sighed in relief.

"So how long was I out for?" Jaune asked his friend.

Ruby held up five fingers.

"five hours!" Jaune said panicking scrambling out of bed, he was going to be late for training with his partner, Pyrrha.

"What, no!" Ruby breathed out before continuing. "five minutes." She emphasized with her fingers stretched out in front of her.

Jaune sighed in relief again realizing he hadn't been late. But that did raise one question he did have.

"hey, Ruby, how exactly did I end up in your team's dormitory?" Jaune asked now looking around seeing that he wasn't in his in the arena.

"Well, you passed out from aura exhaustion, and I didn't have your scroll's password. So I just unlocked my team's dorm and dropped you on Yang's bed." She explained, gesturing to the room they were in.

"Oh, okay that explains a lot." Jaune said content with the explanation that his friend had given him.

"well, what do you want to do now?" Ruby asked her friend.

"do you want to play a game, to pass the time?" Jaune asked out loud.

"It's not like we have anything better to do, sure why not. But what game?" Ruby asked.

"What games are there to even play for a few hours?"

"Ruby, does you still have those two Five nights at Fredrick's simulation headsets, that Weiss got you for your birthday?" Jaune asked.

"Oh yeah! I do. Let me just go grab them." Ruby ran over to the closet and started to dig around for the headsets.

"What game do you want to play. FNAF one, two, three or four?" She asked while digging around in the messy closet.

"Um, Five nights at Freddy's three." Jaune said.

"Got them." Ruby said holding the headsets up in the air, along with the game.

"Hey, Jaune, do you want to make a bet, to mix things up?" Ruby asked her friend.

Jaune had a feeling a déjà vu. But what did he have to lose. His pride, his masculinity, and his sanity. But other than all that he really had nothing to lose. But just to play it safe… "Ruby what would you get if I lost the bet. And what would I get if you lost the bet?" he asked out of caution.

"well, if I won, you would help me with maintenance on crescent rose, or you buy me a whole bunch of cookies." She inhaled before continuing to speak. "But, if you win, then I…um, uh. What do you want?"

Wait this could actually help him, why didn't he think of this sooner! "If I win, then you and your team stop calling me that horrendous nickname 'Vomit-boy', sound fair." Jaune asked his friend.

Ruby spat on her hand and held it out in front of her. "Let's shake on it."

Jaune spit on his hand and shook his friends hand. "Deal." Jaune said.

Meanwhile off in the real world in a house.

"You're such a dumbass! It's a trap. Run you, idiot." A person yelled at their screen.

"Idiot, you fucked up." They said before continuing to read.

Back in the story

After thirty-five minutes of hiding from animatronic Grimm, Jaune had successfully beaten the game on his first try, and Ruby…she didn't. Ruby had gotten to nightmare mode, but unfortunately for her, gear-trap had managed to sneak all the way to the office and jump scare her. So she had lost the bet and was currently pouting about it like a child.

Jaune removed his headset and looked at Ruby with a lazy grin.

"Ruby, you know what this means don't you?" Jaune cheekily said to his friend.

Ruby looked at Jaune with a grumpy face before answering "It means that I, Ruby rose, have to stop calling you, Jaune arc, 'Vomit-boy'."

"Yep." Jaune said cheerily.

"But could you still help me with maintenance on crescent rose, please." Ruby said using puppy dog eyes, knowing that Jaune couldn't say 'no' to them.

'Damn you, Ruby. You know I hate it when you use those eyes.' Jaune thought before succumbing to the cuteness, "Fine, I'll help you." Jaune said grumpily.

"Yay! Let's go." Ruby cheered, yanking her friend by the hood and proceeding to drag him to the workshop that beacon had in the academy.

Workshop

"alright so Jaune, do you have a pen and paper?" Ruby asked Jaune.

" I have a scroll." He said holding up his scroll.

"Alright it'll have to do. so Jaune, I need these items: a crescent wrench, a rubber mallet, the air compressor, twelve 7x4 steel plates, one thirty-two inch pipe cleaner, a large rug, a can of WD-40 and a loading bench. You got all that?" Ruby asked her friend, who looked confused.

"Um, I got loading bench and air compressor." Jaune said meekly.

Ruby sighed while looking at her friend.

"alright then, how about we do this," Ruby handed the notepad to her friend, who accepted it with a nervous grin on his face before walking off to get the items needed for crescent rose's maintenance.

Ruby watched for a minute after Jaune left to make sure he was gone before taking a screwdriver out of her sleeve and removing the right side metal plate of crescent rose to reveal two syringes. One light neon blue, and the other an acidic green color. Ruby grinned in sadistic pleasure.

"Everything is going according to plan." Ruby said as she put the two syringes full of colored dust up her sleeves. 'This is going to be so cool and awesome when I'm done with it.' She thought as she started to sneak around the workshop looking around each shelf for Jaune.

xXx

after looking around multiple corners, Ruby had found Jaune trying to get the air compressor from the top shelf, 'oh boy that is going to hurt.' She thought the image of Jaune getting crushed under that metal machinery making her cringe.

"Jaune!" she called his name causing him to fall off the ladder and land on his head, making Ruby cringe.

"Hey Ruby what's up." Jaune said slightly dazed and slurring a bit before he shook his head rapidly regaining his senses.

"Oh nothing much, but uh Jaune," she said stepping over to his fallen form on the ground, "Did you get the other stuff?" she asked now standing over her friend with a smile on her face.

Jaune gave a sheepish grin as he looked up at his friend who was just smiling at him. "Do we still need that air compressor?" he asked while scratching the back of his head.

"No, we need to get over to my weapon you dummy." Ruby said as she started to drag Jaune by his ankle over to her weapon.

Jaune was surprised by the amount of strength Ruby possessed in her body, sure she could carry around and swing crescent rose like it was a tooth pick, but he didn't think she could drag him so easily.

"Hey Jaune, I have a question for you: if we could? Would you want to you know…have sex together?" Ruby asked as her face got extremely red.

Jaune who also had a pink tint in his cheeks, "Well Ruby, I mean, I could see it happening at some point, uh, and stuff, but um, would uh you really want to do that with me?" Jaune asked still trying to wrap his head around the concept of his first friend wanting to do something like that. How would his family react, how would Yang react…that last one was a horrifying thought: Yang's reaction, he liked being a male, thank you very much. He shivered at that last thought.

"Alrighty then," Ruby said as she dragged Jaune by the foot she used her other hand to grab the needle itself for the green acidic dust vile up her right sleeve and screw it into place like a hidden blade for a weapon.

AN: (if you're having trouble picturing it, imagine a syringe up Ruby's sleeve, and have the actual needle itself, not the syringe, but the needle part sticking out roughly one inch from her sleeve, like assassins creed hidden blade)

"Hey Ruby what about your weapon?" Jaune asked still being dragged to who knows where by his friend.

"Jaune, I want to show you something," Ruby said not really paying attention to her friend.

"Will this thing that you're going to show me…. will it hurt me?" Jaune said hesitantly.

"No, if anything it will make you feel like you're walking on air." Ruby said excitedly, releasing Jaune from her grip, allowing him to get up of the floor and look at a door in front of them.

Ruby stopped in front of a door that was made of what looked like solid steel and opened it with ease before leading Jaune in and shutting the door with a loud **CLAP**.

[( watch?v=FI5_HnMcV9o) door sound]

Jaune tried to see what was what and he couldn't it was dark. That was until it felt like a bee stung him.

"Ruby?' he felt drowsy. It was hard for him to think straight before he passed out.

He fell to the floor blacking out.

XXX

Diagnostics system reboot initiated

Time: unknown

Place: unknown

Condition: Alive (more or less)

After Jaune's metaphorical diagnostics systems reboot he had woken up in a chair that someone had strapped him into, his hands fastened to the arms of said chair by leather belt restraints that he would see in the old horror films he watched as a kid with his sisters. But then he looked around the room he was in and it was very dark, there was one singular light suspended over him and the floor was concrete, was this the room Ruby lead him to. Note to self: never follow your friend to a random room. It was also time the time that Jaune noticed that his clothes were gone and that he was naked.

"Okay, haha Ruby, let me out!" Jaune shouted into the darkness while struggling to get free from the restraints.

No response.

He heard heels clicking within the room and turned to face the sound, but surprise surprise, out came Ruby from the darkness, except Ruby wasn't in her usual attire. She was wearing a red leather corset, a pair of black stockings that reached up a bit higher than her knees, a pair of black high-heels and her signature red cloak.

"Oh shit" Jaune cursed under his breath as he saw Ruby shoot him a seductive smile.

Jaune struggled as much as he could to no avail as Ruby slowly approached him while swaying her hips.

"Ruby, why?" Jaune pleaded while desperately trying to escape his restraints that confined him to the blasted chair.

Ruby stopped in front of her friend and caressed his cheek with her right hand, while her left hand reached for what appeared to be crescent Rose?

With the click of a button 'crescent rose' Mecha-shifted and extended to half of its original length.

"What is that, that's not crescent rose?" Jaune now looked at the thing in his friend's hands and it looked like a crescent rose except the head where the giant scythe part would be, it was replaced by what looked like a flashlight with a pink silicon cap…wait pink silicon cap! 'That's not a flashlight, that's a fleshlight! He thought in horror, he was screwed.

AN: Don't ask, my friend knows about some kinky and weird stuff.

Jaune audibly gulped.

Ruby held out the device off to the side before speaking. "This little beauty here is a piece of kinky machinery of my own design, I call her 'Crescent blows' and she packs a punch." She said while aligning the device with jaune's crotch to where it was hovering about five inches above his lap.

"Now then Jaune, let's have some fun with this." She said pulling out a syringe filled with light neon blue dust, moving it to Jaune's neck and penetrating his skin, eliciting a yelp of pain from him as she injected the blue substance into his neck.

"Ruby, what was in that syringe?" Jaune asked starting to feel warm and fuzzy.

"aphrodisiac." She said simply looking at Jaune like she was waiting for something.

"what's that?" Jaune asked with genuine confusion.

"it's basically a drug that makes you horny." Ruby stated simply moving her right hand to his crotch and started to rub it until it got hard.

Jaune bit his lip trying not to let out a moan, but goddammit it felt so good.

Ruby stroked Jaune's length until it got hard in her hand and then stopped, to move the fleshlight part of 'Crescent blows' onto Jaune's hardened member, and with a loud **squelch,** it engulfed Jaune's member.

Jaune couldn't help but let out a moan of pleasure from the feeling of having his penis being inside the device.

Ruby smiled at Jaune's actions, usually it wouldn't be that easy to make someone like him moan, but since he did it meant two things. One: the aphrodisiac she injected into her friend, was working. And two: that her new 'weapon' was working perfectly. 'Now then, time to have some fun with him,' Ruby thought gleefully, she always wanted to do this, but she didn't have any guy friends to test her device on. But that was before she met Jaune here on the first day of arriving at beacon, but now she had someone to test her invention on and what was even better was that it was her friend.

Ruby walked over to her weapons base and connected her scroll to it using an adapter cord that she bought when she was first making crescent rose, and began typing on her little keyboard.

Jaune heard the whirring of small servos and the grinding of gears, but before he could ask any questions he felt his member getting rubbed by the silicon.

Ruby stood up from her kneeling position while holding her scroll in her right hand like it was a tablet. She grabbed a small headset with a microphone attached to it from her cloak and put it on and pressed a button on the side of it.

"Hello Jaune, I want to play a game, I am going to ask you five simple questions that you must answer truthfully, but as for the question that you're probably asking yourself right now," Ruby's voice was deep and demonic. "What you're strapped into is a device of my own design, it is not only a machine for pleasuring someone, it is also a lie detector, but every time you tell a lie. Well the truth will shock you. When you tell the truth, the machine will increase its speed and suction power, but please tell me when you are about to blow your load, I want to do something- "Ruby removed the headset, bringing back her usual voice "now then let's begin shall we?'

Jaune could only nod.

"First question: What is my favorite snack?" Ruby asked her friend who had a confused expression written across his face.

"Cookies." Jaune stated simply.

Ruby smiled "Correct" she said before she pushed a few buttons that caused nothing to happen.

"Next question: Do you see me as just a friend?" she asked.

Jaune blushed slightly "W-well I see you as my best friend, but I could also see you as a girlfriend, but would you really want to?" Jaune answered while also asking a question.

Ruby typed on her scroll, still nothing happened. "You know Jaune, I like you more than a friend should, and I don't see any problem with it, but 'would you want to date me if you could'?" Ruby said to her friend with a question laced within her answer.

Jaune responded "Well I mean I would love to, but isn't it like against the rules, also I don't know how your sister would react, but if I could I would." Jaune stated.

Ruby pushed a few buttons on her scroll with a few more beeps, but still nothing happened.

"Question four: Do you have any weird fetishes that are considered 'disgraceful' by today's society?"

Jaune thought for a moment before answering "Well I don't know about 'disgraceful', but I do have some weird ones, skirts, various lingerie, bondage, dominatrix, and denial." Jaune said with embarrassment.

More buttons and sounds, but still nothing.

"okay- "Ruby activated the headset again, "would you go out on a date with me, tomorrow night at 7:30 p.m. at the new sushi restaurant that recently got installed?' She asked deactivating the headset.

Jaune didn't need to thing on that last question he already knew the answer "Yes I would, and you have my word. And as an arc I shall never go back on my word." Jaune said fimly.

"alright then, it's a date, Oh and Jaune, I'm going to be back in about an hour, Don't die on me." She said pushing one final button that activated the mechanisms to pleasure. And with that she left her friend at the 'hands' of her own machine.

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With Ozpin

Ozpin was walking over to his friends Bart and peter to have a conversation of where they had put the charge cart for the staff's scrolls. When he opened the door he walked in on an interesting sight.

Bartholomew Oobleck had his legs wrapped around his other friend, Peter Port. In a very compromising position but what didn't help was what his friend Peter said to Bart. "Bart we never get any time to do such scandalous acts, but now that we do, I'll show you what years of 'training have taught me."

That was the last straw for Ozpin, so he screamed and ran out of the room like the devil were hot on his heels.

"I wonder what was wrong with him?" peter said aloud.

"probably bad coffee beans." Bart said.

"well let's get this show on the road, shall we." Peter said before he tossed Oobleck up into the air and caught him when he came back down.

"Did you get it?" peter asked his friend.

"Yep." Oobleck said holding in his hand two giant blunts wrapped in white paper.

"Let's do this." Peter said grabbing a lighter out of his pants pocket.

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Back with Jaune

Jaune sat in the chair panting, out of breath, he was milked dry and tired. His final thoughts before exhaustion claimed him for the second time that day were 'white like snow' and 'hope Ruby comes back soon'.

Ruby walked out from the darkness and kissed jaune's head saying "sweet dreams my White knight, made a pun." Ruby chuckled before packing up crescent blows, and untying jaune's restraints.

Meanwhile in vail

Something felt off for Yang, but she couldn't name it, but one thing was clear to her, someone made a dirty pun that was better than hers.

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Well that was a thing, hope you enjoyed, Review, favorite and follow and I'll see all yall next time.

Who do you want to see next?

Choices:

Wiess

Winter

Blake

Cinder

Until next time, I am Writerofthelostsoul, laterz.


	3. Pyrrha gets her cave explored

Pyrrha gets her cave explored

I am really sorry that I haven't written anything, but I have a fantastic reason. I had to study for test and get ready for mid-terms and finals. Because graduating high-school is way more important to me than a story. Sorry if it sounds rude or mean, but I prefer being straight-forward and blunt.

I have no real plans for any of these chapters, but I will have a poll for the next chapter that will be written/typed. Now as for how I come up with the chapters that I write, I come up with a scenario. And then I rack my brain for all the possibilities I can come up with. Then after I have the vague idea for the chapter I don't write it out until I am sure it sounds good to write. Then I ask the voice of perversion and the voice of creativity in my head, (I am not schizophrenic) to see what they think of it. Finally, I write it out.

Also a few starting notes, if you have a problem with gay sex, lesbian or anything non-straight then you're reading the wrong chapter, however if you don't or you just don't care or are cool with it, then welcome my friends.

You have heard enough of me rambling for almost 189 words, now then…

On with the show

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"Hey…" a voice said.

"What?" Jaune said, finally regaining consciousness.

"Hey, are you alright?" The voice said.

"Who are you?" Jaune said, finally opening his eyes to come face to face with, a robot? What the hell?!

At this point Jaune shot up from where he was and dropped into a fighting stance in case he needed to Brawl with this robot thing.

"Take it Easy and settle down, I mean you no harm." The robot said to the blonde.

"Who or what are you, and what do you want with me?" Jaune asked the robot.

"First of all, Blondie, I am human. Second of all I'm human and I am wearing my custom made, but team modified/upgraded T-60 power armor. And thirdly I was modifying the energy source for this armor so it would run on dust, rather than a radioactive fusion core. And as for how I found you, I was walking through the forge, when I got a smell of a foul stench. So being slightly concerned that it was a corpse, I followed the stench to a giant metal door, and when I opened it, I found you lying on the floor unconscious." The person said to Jaune who had relaxed.

In beacon halls

After twenty minutes of waiting, Jaune had received temporary clothes from paladin Danse and the two had started walking around beacon and Jaune had learned a bit about his new friend.

"Well, I know what you are but, who are you?" Jaune asked his newly made friend walking next to him.

"Well as for who I am, I am Paladin Danse, a member of team PADloCk (PADC). My leader is Alex and he uses a fully customizable 10mm pistol, a custom made .308 sniper rifle that he named, Redemption and he has a piston gauntlet that he uses as his melee weapon. My other two teammates are Cait, who uses a Rocket-propelled War-hammer, a long double-barrel shotgun, and dust hand-grenades. And finally there's Piper, She's my third teammate. Her arsenal includes a 10 millimeter pistol that her Older brother had used, but he was unfortunately killed by Grimm. But aside from Piper's 10 millimeter pistol, she has her double-edged sword, Vengeance. She made it because she wanted revenge on the monsters who killed her brother, but she's not entirely consumed by vengeance, thankfully, but her sword has small cartridges of dust that were made by the whole team, but she calls the cartridges "packs", but it's just dust in a small metal container." Paladin Danse said to Jaune, but Jaune could tell that Danse wasn't finished.

"And finally there's me, Paladin Danse, my story is, I joined Atlas military for seven years when I was ten years-old, but I left when I was seventeen to pursue my career as a huntsman. And after initiation I spent many months making power armor out of Titanium, I had blueprints based off of the atleasian paladin, but this was before it was released to the public, and it took time and effort, but I did it and now I am changing out the power source, from a nuclear fusion core, to a dust core, it doesn't sound better but it actually is, the crystals of dust are supposed to last for three weeks before they need to be changed out..." Danse said.

After a long time walking down the halls Jaune and Danse parted ways, and went back to their respective teams. But Jaune did learn some new things about the world of remnant, like how small parts of the land were covered in pure radiation. But fun fact even Grimm are a problem in the wastelands of Remnant, so the academies have special teams that they send out to deal with the irradiated Grimm, and Paladin Danse just happened to be part of one of the Special teams. But it was kind of interesting to think about: some parts of Remnant are covered in Radiation, lethal Doses of Radiation.

Jaune opened the door to his dorm room expecting to see his teammates, but instead the room was empty.

'Must be gone..." He turned his head to the right to see a note on the wall.

Dear, Jaune

It's me the brother you never had, Lie Ren. Look I'm going to get straight to the point. You might not want to use the shower for a while, Nora…found a way to make the faucet go from water to maple syrup and let me tell you, it was awful, we have an ant problem in the bathroom now, I'm at the barber shop getting a haircut because the syrup won't come out of my hair. So I'm gonna get my hair cut and I'm going to try having short hair. Also Pyrrha says that you and her are having the monthly "skill test' I'm not gonna ask about it, but I just wish to know whether or not you will be a whole Jaune after the "test".

Sincerely, Lie Ren, your brother that you never had.

"Okay, then…well why don't we see what our neighboring teammates are up to. All who agree say 'I'." Jaune raised his right hand and said "I". "Motion carried." Jaune chuckled a bit at his actions.

" **YOU HAVE A MESSAGE! ANSWER NOW DUMBASS!"**

Jaune jumped into the air and ungracefully landed back on his butt. He groaned and fished through his pocket for his scroll, when he had finally found it, it had a message icon, so he unlocked his scroll entering his password: Lady Killer. And read the message.

Mission debrief: we have word from another settlement that Grimm are giving them trouble, please deal with them and report back etc.

Sincerely, the shipping wizard. A.K.A. Ozpin

1.5 days, three flights, twelve barf-bags, three pat-downs and escaping Pyrrha fans later…

They had made it to their destination: sanctuary hills

The town was small and quaint, there were wooden buildings and a small bar and a few stores here and there...

Time skip to badassery battle scene because I am too lazy and I really just want to get this chapter out Today.

Team JNPR had been fighting off Grimm for a few hours now, but the monsters had just kept coming back with more allies. For every one Grimm that they killed, six more appeared, Jaune looked at his teammates and saw fatigue, they wouldn't last much longer.

Jaune quickly looked at his team's aura levels and what he saw made him go pale

Jaune- 27%

Ren- 24%

Nora- 29%

Pyrrha- 18%

Alarm bells went off instantly in Jaune's head as he looked around the area that they were defending, there looked to be no end in sight. He looked around to see a cave that was at least fifty-three yards away but was the only shelter closest to them. Jaune realized that they would have to make a run for it, sorry Ozpin but we can't handle this situation as well as you thought we could,

He inhaled before he yelled "Team, retreat to that cave fifty yards east of our current position!" Nobody argued and started sprinting towards the cave and away from the Grimm.

"Nora when we are right below the enterance to the cave I need you to cause a cave in, we can't continue fighting like this." Jaune saud to his ginger haired teammate who simply nodded in response.

30 yards away..

more Grimm were appearing and chasing after the four of them,

20 yards away..

Nora got her grenade launcher out and readied it to shoot out a fire dust grenade to collapse the mouth of the cave.

10 yards away..

Nora took aim with her grenade launcher and pulled the trigger.

5 yards away..

the rest of the team slid in to the cave as the rocks,

Luckily as the cave entrance got blocked by rocks the whole team was still alive. but shrouded in darkness, unable to see each-other.

"Jaune how are we supposed to see each other, we have no light source?" Ren asked his friend.

"Nora take one of your fire dust grenades and disassemble it, nut keep the bottom half of the shell." Jaune told Nora.

after a minute of what sounded like drills, saws, chainsaws and hammers and sandpaper, Nora had one fire grenade taken apart.

""Ren, can you channel your aura into your index finger and ignite the dust please," told the black haired boy.

 **with a FWOOSH** the fire dust grenade became a small fire for the team to use as a source of warmth.

"Jaune, why did did you choose to have us run away from the fight?" Pyrrha asked her partner.

Jaune breathed out and in before he spoke, "Everyone take out your scrolls and look at your aura meter and tell me what you see.

His teammate's faces were slightly paler than usual.

"He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day." was all their team leader said.

"But that's besides the point, we're currently surrounded by Grimm and with no way to contact anyone...we might die, so tomorrow We're going to have to run back to the village and contact Ozpin, but for now we all need to sleep and heal ourselves." Jaune said.

One hour later

Ren and Nora were fast asleep, exhausted from fighting Grimm.

Jaune and Pyrrha however were still awake and talking to one another while also trying to figure out a plan to get rid of the Grimm.

"...but with no other options and barely any dust left, we'll have to just fight them off Pyrrha." Jaune concluded.

"This is why I wish we had Grimm replant. So we would not be stuck in this mess." Pyrrha said as a final thought.

Jaune's eyes widened in realization "Pyrrha you are a beautiful genius, Repellent! it's the answer." Jaune started to laugh like a madman.

"Wait Jaune what do you mean?" she asked.

"Pyrrha, tell me, what are Grimm attracted to?" it was stated like a question, but was a statement.

"Negativity, Grimm are attracted to negativity." She said raising an eyebrow.

"So of they're attracted to negativity, then aren't they repelled by positive emotions too," Jaune said with a knowing smile.

Pyrrha smiled because she understood his plan, but there was one question left, how were they going to produce enought positive emotions to repel the Grimm?

"Pyrrha, there is one powerful Grimm replant that I can think of, but I need to know: do you trust me?" Jaune asked his partner with a serious expression.

Did she trust Jaune? Yes! of course she did, but did she really?

"Okay Jaune, yes I trust you, I trust you more than I trust most people." She said slowly to Jaune.

"A-alright, Pyrrha you know how we learned in Professor Port's class that Grimm are repelled by extremely positive emotions?" He asked the redhead

"Uh..

three weeks earlier

Professor port was telling about how one time he and Doctor Oobleck were outnumbered by Grimm and had to repel the Grimm by doing the one thing that many people do with each-other when alone and scared: they played Chess.

"We had played chess for a long time, and while it was causing endorphin's to be released, it wasn't enough. So me and Doctor Oobleck did the other thing that is extremely effective at repelling Grimm, we had intercourse and I remember what it was like," Professor port then began talking about his Time with Oobleck "..and then when it wasn't enough I wrapped my arms around Doctor Oobleck's waist and pushed him up against the wall of the cave and started to thrust hard and fast into his tight anus, it was a feeling I will never forget." Professor Port continued to retell his tale of how he and Oobleck had survived by screwing, while he was unknowingly scarring a few of his students and Making a certain cat Faunas bleed from the nose.

While Yang made a joke about Doctors taking care of their patients and Doctor Oobleck being fast but Port being Furious in a cave.

(feel free to scream in horror and bleach your eyes at anytime, your pain and suffering amuse me, muahahahaha! also as a side note I have nothing against gay people. I'm friends with 14 people who are gay, great friends...back to the story.)

Back to the Present

Pyrrha quickly and violently shook her head, banishing the memory to the back of her mind. "Yes I remember Professor Port telling his story." While it was inappropriate in some ways, the story did hold some important facts, Grimm were in fact repelled by positive emotions, the way Port explained it was that the ecstasy that was radiating off of him and Oobleck was very powerful and potent. Pyrrha knew what Jaune was hinting at and she the thought excited her, but there was one minor/major problem; she was a virgin. She ripped her hymen when she started working with dodging attacks in close quarters combat, all of that quick leg tucking and bending and sliding would rip anyone's hymen to shreds, and hers was gone like the wind.

"Then you know what I'm thinking, don't you,"Jaune said to his partner.

Pyrrha simply nodded in response to her partner's question.

"But.. do you really want to, you know, 'get down and dirty'?" Jaune asked his partner with a concerned tone to his voice.

Pyrrha smiled at her partner, "Jaune I would rather have you be my _partner in bed,_ rather than anyone else in the whole school, because I trust you more than most people, and I trust that you would not intentionally hurt me." She said to her partner who responded with a nervous grin.

"Th-thanks Pyrrha" he said as he started to scratch the back of his head out of nervousness.

"But Pyrrha, how are we going to do this, with Ren and Nora here, I mean I don't want to be that one guy, but with them being six feet away, it's kind of... not so good time, if you know what I mean." Jaune said awkwardly to Pyrrha.

"Do not worry I know what you mean, we will just have to be silent, but knowing you, that will most likely be a problem, won't it?" Pyrrha asked her partner.

"Unfortunately yes." he said

While Jaune and Pyrrha were talking Nora had been able to sneak up behind them and asked the one question, "So are you guys gonna boop?" she asked causing Jaune to scream out of fright.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"** (It's in bold words so you know it was a seriously loud scream)

Pyrrha clamped a hand over Jaune's mouth and whispered into Jaune's ear "Jaune if you continue to scream, then we will die from a cave in."

Jaune nodded indicating that he had calmed down and Pyrrha had removed her hand from his mouth, and turned to Nora before speaking again.

The trio heard a groan from the cave, indicating that their green clad friend had awoken.

"Nice of you to join the party Ren." Jaune said to his friend.

"Good to be here, and might I just add: sleeping on a stone floor is really uncomfortable."

I wouldn't doubt it my good man,"

"So...Ren, Nora did you hear any of what me and Jaune were talking about?" Pyrrha asked her two other teammates.

"Yes I did, you guys were gonna boop, like this one time when we were in middle school, me and Ren went into the Janitor's closet and-"

"NORA!" Ren yelled at his best friend while his words reverberated off the cave's walls.

"Ren keep it down, do you want to cause a cave-in" Jaune asked rhetorically out of fear for his team.

"Nora," Ren said ignoring Jaune and his rhetorical questioning, "you promised that you wouldn't mention any of that after **that** happened, so Please don't I can't take the stress." Ren comically waled at Nora.

"You got it Ren, no more Boop-stories." Nora saluted.

"Ren has a fetish for being electrocuted-" Nora quickly said.

" **NORA!** " Ren shouted while red in the face, his echos causing the cave ceiling to shake making small pebbles to drop down.

"Pyrrha what do we do?" Jaune asked his partner.

"Jaune, as co-leader of team JuNiPeR, I propose that we repel the Grimm with the natural repellent we talked about earlier." Pyrrha said to Jaune.

"Alright then, team JNPR, as your leader I initiate operation '12 klem-142'!" The blonde leader said

"Let's begin then." Pyrrha grabbed Jaune by his shirt and forced him to the ground and mounted (straddled) on top of his waist and began to deeply and passionately kiss her leader.

"Hey Ren," Nora said to her best friend.

"What?" he said turning around and seeing his friends fists arcing electricity, causing his eyes to widen while also making him excited in anticipation.

"CLEAR!" Nora said as she punched Ren in the chest transferring the electricity from her fists to her friends body, causing him to smile while in pain.

***skip Lemon*** (why you ask because I can't write a lemon worth shit, I fucking just can't I tried nut grrrr I suck at it!)

After a night of fun, they had been successful in creating the all natural repellent and they had grown closer as partners and friends and most importantly; as teammates, learning that they were okay with each-other as them and no judgement. But luckily after the night the Grimm had dispersed and wandered away from the village and the cave, so technically they completed the mission and had gotten a bull head back to beacon, where they were currently unboarding the plane.

And you'll never guess who the first people they saw when they landed, the one, the only, put your hands together for...Team RWBY.

"Jaune/Vomit boy" Yang and Ruby said simultaneously.

"Yes?" said boy asked the sisters.

"How could you cheat on me!/You screwed my baby sister, you're dead Blondie!" They said at the same time, again.

Ruby ran and jumped up and slapped Jaune on the cheek while youting "you jerk!" She said while landing in a roll and getting back up on her feet.

Yang stepped forward and uppercut Jaune into his jaw which actually lifted himm up off of the ground a few inches.

"why-" he was interrupted by Ruby jumping up and slapping him in the face, while Yang came in with a gut punch, both actions knocked the air out of him and knocked him down.

"Why" he said while in pain.

"You have some explaining to do." Yang said as she started to drag Jaune towards Beacon, her sister and both teams followed the trio.

"I've done Jack-shit!" Jaune said to Yang who snorted at his remark.

xxx

Omake time

Ozpin was sitting in his office just finishing up a conversaytion with the grand council of remmnant trying to be professional, but thaty was really hard when you were getting sucked off by an expert sadist who knew how to make you screw up and be flustered.

"I understand, council. I need to host the Vytal festival tournament this year," Ozpin said while desparately trying to not moan out loud.

"good, Alright Ozpin we'll get out of your hair." The screen went black.

Ozpin immedatley gasped and looked down at Glybda who was smiling at his anguish.

"You're a sadistic meanie, Glynda." Ozpin said as he was denied his release again for the 12th time.

Glynda held up her scroll and showed it to Ozpin who internally cried out in pain, he had his hands tied and he couldn't do anything about it.

He couldn't check the progress of the ships, today was awful.

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Omake 2

Jaune was walking towards his 'peonies' when he saw Weiss walking away from a destroyed garden bed. his destroyed garden bed! when he voiced his displeasure "Look at what you've done to my peonies~" he said while in distress and anger because his favorite object in gardening was destroyed.

"Those aren't peonies you dolt, they're marigolds." Weiss said staring between Jaune, a sign in front of the flower bed, and his roses.

"I may not know my flowers, but I sure know a bitch when I see one!" He shouted at Weiss who was walking away from one of his favorite hobbies, that she took liberty of destroying because they were labeled wrong! what a bitch!

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Hello again, I know Its been a long time but I literally couldn't write a lemon because I just can't, I'm not good at it. but either way, there's another Poll on my account and I would appreciate the fuck out of you if you reviewed and voted.

Next chapter: either: Winter or Cinder are going to get to Jaune.

I am Writerofthelostsoul and I will see you next time.

also on a side note: I need a partner in crime, please.

P.S. FNAF high chapter 2 will be what I work on until I can get up off my well-developed ass and find inspiration again. And also Five night's at Beacon's will be updated soon like in maybe two weeks.

sincerely, WOTLS

3,884 words


	4. Chapter 4: I need your help

**DEAR Story readers**

I need you guy's help desperately. I, for last month and a half, have been trying to Write chapter four of Secondary FUN-CTION, but unfortunately with school piling up and my brain giving me the middle finger I have been unable to access my personal creative factory inside my twisted and depraved mind of my own. So I, Writerofthelostsoul am desperate for help. I don't like it when I am desperate for help but it can and will happen. But I also see this as an opportunity for your guy's input and ideas. So I present to you my potential solution that benefits me and all of you. I need your guy's help on how to write this chapter. I am in a creative rut and you guys can toss me down a rope. I need a co-writer right now more than ever. So PLEASE **HELP ME!**

I am an Ugly mess when I am desperate, I don't like it one bit, but it id in my best interests as an author to get input and help so I can give back to the community. I need and want help. Please help me.

Sincerely, Writerofthelostsoul

P.S. The chapter that I've been working on and havn't gotten anything done with is about Winter.


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